More Confession.....

hi everyone......still the busy me...... dun know if u call this a update but think i have to clarify things after some chat with rayson......hahaha........first thing......i dun know if i am being too sensitive or too insensitive but this blog is like a journal so i am just putting sth which i want it for myself to see in future to laugh at my old self......hahha.....also to vent all the things which i have kept in my heart and killing me......right now i am teaching 4 kids, so mon, tue, wed, thurs evening and sat morning is tuition, then i am helping mr fong, my archi yr1 sem2 tutor in his office, so morning 9am to 6pm mon-fri gone as well, then i am doing istana pavilion project, KR or Kent Ridge Hall rag, so the remaining time of the weekdays is gone, and have to work till ard 2am everyday to settle some stuff be4 sleep, weekends.....hahaha i making my own studio table, actually somehow done, just need finishing, and a big cabinet to put my comics and books and models, which is just started, so weekend gone, hahahaha.......so only sometime can squeeze a bit of time to go out or sth.......busy? crazy?......i dun think so.......i like the way it is........yes u might say i am running away from reality bcos u read my last few post......well.......tt is only sometime.......if u like someone......this is normal right?.......but i am happy with the current situation where i can still tok to her and discuss normal things, maybe being friends for the time being is good ba......maybe tt will stay till forever, i dun know......but of course i will hope to have things go better, but then this kind of things is not force one right??......if she think i am the one for her, then it is her choice and of course i will be happy like heaven, but if not, then it ok lar.......i already letting fate to do the job le, i expressed my feeling, i will still continue to give my best care and everything to her, its her choice now, all i can do now is wait........maybe my best job is wait ba, maybe not, i dun know. Already waited stupidly for someone for 7yrs, now i only waited for a yr only. If she end up with someone else, i give her my blessing as long as she is happy. Say i am silly, i agree. Want me to change my heart, its very difficult, tt is y i can understand her when she told me she had someone in mind. well.........enough said..............say somemore i will go emo again.........work work work!!!!!!!!!...........right now my laughter is only to cover the sad and sorrow inside me.....when can i really laugh with real happiness from the bottom of my heart?.......we shall see........